6 May (Part 2) - Things to come? A cautionary tale
One of Bexley council’s money saving schemes is to push the borough further on-line than it is already. It’s almost inevitable, everybody is doing it.
Across the river Newham has been an on-line only
council for a couple of years. If you don’t sign up and log on you get nothing. Whether you are 19 or 99 they demand
that you are computer literate.
As as result my aunt - 95 in a couple of weeks time - can no longer apply for
visitors’ parking permits or get her bins emptied of anything other than
‘standard stuff’. In Newham that does not include jam jars.
She used to get the parking tickets in person at the town hall and phone for the
bins. Neither is possible any more.
I think it was on 17th March that I went over there and she presented me with
her council tax bill which had arrived that morning. Being of the old school she
used to hand deliver a cheque for the full amount to the town hall. Banned now.
I suggested she paid by Direct Debit and never have to worry about the bill
again. It was a dreadful rigmarole but I managed to set it up on-line. You would
think entering the reference number would tell Newham council all they need to know, then
just add the bank details. But no, they wanted her full name and full address before being
able to add the truly necessary details.
On 2nd April a letter of confirmation arrived. No need to do anything it said. So far so good.
Yesterday
I arrived in East Ham to find the nonagenarian close to tears. A
letter had arrived that very day to say that if she didn’t pay the two months
overdue within seven days they would commence legal proceedings. There was an
emergency contact number on the reverse. I rang it.
After interminable announcements telling me I should use the web rather than
bother their fat arses an automated voice asked me to state clearly what service
I required. I said “Council tax”. It echoed back “Council tax”. Then after a
short delay it said “Council tax has no voice mail. Goodbye” and cut me off.
I called again. I said “Direct Debit” but the robot said that Direct Debit was not a
recognised phrase, it would have to connect me to the assistance point. I think
the lesson I learned was that you may as well just say “FU” whatever sort of
assistance you are seeking.
The line then made loud burbling noises through which I could just about hear
that string of announcements being repeated. Eventually a lady answered, the
burbling noises disappeared, and she immediately understood my requirements
and put me through to the right extension. Except that no one answered.
The switchboard
lady came back on line and said she couldn’t get through, “it
often happens”. I asked if she could try again but she said she couldn’t because
there were only two incoming lines and I was holding them up. Nevertheless she
took pity on me and tried again. With the same result.
This time when she came back on line she said she had spoken to one of her
colleagues and ‘Council tax’ had not answered a single call since last week. I
asked her to connect me with Sir Robin Wales, the elected Mayor and renowned
useless individual.
The operator said neither he nor his office took calls from the public. I asked
how one could ever complain to these self important and vastly overpaid morons.
She said there was an email address.
It is corporate.complaints@newham.gov.uk which I
place here in case it one day
proves useful to another of their frustrated residents and because I rather hope
that its unencrypted presence will result in Newham being spammed to hell.
I got on to my aunt’s bank today. Almost needless to say
the money was taken on schedule at the beginning of the financial year.
Administrative mistakes happen but the decision to go entirely
on-line and put an impossible system in place is not
an admin. cock up. It is what councils run by thoughtless idiots do.
Bexley next?