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Bonkers Blog October 2019

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30 October (Part 1) - Giving Abbey Wood the hump

I first saw Boris Johnson at one of his pre-Mayoral election meetings in Bexley where among other things he said that speed humps were the invention of the devil and the work of evil socialists. It helped him end the political career of his predecessor Ken Livingstone.

It is hard to dislike Mr. Johnson but I gained the impression at that meeting that he would say anything to please an audience and outrageously dodge any question where an honest answer might prove embarrassing. I have seen nothing since that might persuade me I was wrong. That is not to say that he does not stand head and shoulders above the treacherous Commies, gerrymanderers and fantasists who would like to be his undoing. Who in their right mind would vote for any of them?

Johnson’s anti-speed hump stance was about as useless as his promise to reintroduce the tidal flow two way traffic system at Blackwall tunnel. Untrustworthy he may be but just look how much worse things have been since he left office. (†)

NoticeBexley Council has today posted undated notices on lamp posts in Abbey Wood announcing a whole series of speed humps on newly reconstructed roads.

One at the entrance to Wilton Road is probably needed. The standard of driving in Abbey Wood has not yet reached the abysmal lawlessness on constant display in Newham but it is fast going that way. Only yesterday a red light jumper caused devastation and injury.

The Wilton Road hump will with luck put an end to speeding down Knee Hill and not slowing much at all for the congestion of Wilton Road. If things go wrong we will see another vehicle thrown into the air by a hump and somersaulting down the road as happened just the other side of the borough border a month ago.

Not so sure about the other humps though.

There will be two more within the Wilton Road one way system. three in Felixstowe Road and seven more where Harrow Manorway is joined by minor roads.

Better will be the introduction of Toucan crossings at as many as four places along Harrow Manorway, and about time too. At least one zebra crossing will be taken away and not replaced.

Click image for the just about readable version of the Public Notice.

† Now that she is leaving us may I quote an email from the early days of Bonkers? Teresa Pearce said “I see you as a plague on all your houses sort of person and rightly so”.

She wasn’t wrong was she? We will not see the like of Teresa in Erith and Thamesmead again. I shall have to try very hard not to cause useless and sometimes dishonest Councillors to report me to the police again for the crime of being critical.


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