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Bonkers Blog December 2017

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5 December - Department of silly blogs

Lame Excuses Department
The aunt in East Ham was transformed from a remarkably self-sufficient 97 year old to a gibbering wreck over the weekend and she is now tucked up in Newham hospital. I’m not sure yet whether that will result in more spare time for BiB or less.

Fearing a stroke or worse the initial diagnosis has proved far more encouraging. A thyroid deficiency that is off the scale, lowest the consultant has ever seen, resulting in hypothermia (33°), extreme confusion and near total loss of voice.

She has always had a thyroid deficiency and now I learn it should have been tested every six months and it was last tested in the summer of 2014. The GP simply refused to make visits insisting the old lady phoned and made an appointment in the normal way. Despite complaints I got a doctor out only once in those three years - for a leg ailment - after threatening to call the MP for East Ham and claiming him as an old school friend. Not entirely true, we went to the same school but I am twelve years older than he is. But I once shook his hand in church!

Rather too late in the day I realise that being constantly cold and running electric fires throughout the summer was an alarm signal a doctor might recognise when I didn’t.

So don’t ignore it if your old folk are always cold.

Criminal Investigation Department
Elwyn Bryant and I spent an afternoon refining the Craske cover-up Appeal letter to the IPCC. We were looking at the bit of the DPS report on what happened right at the beginning of the failed enquiry when two police officers went to chat with a few people in Bexley Council’s Chief Executive’s office.

The police should have interviewed the Council officer who Elwyn and I had been with who would have known everything that showed up on the obscene blog fewer than 24 hours later, but the police could not remember much about it and any statements had gone AWOL.

Elwyn had a brainwave, a vague recollection that he knew more about that meeting than the police pretended to. We found the evidence.

Incompetent copBack in 2011 the police didn’t know one blogger from another and their malicious politically motivated prosecution of the blogger then known as Olly Cromwell muddled his blog with Bonkers. The police actually sent out a press release with my name on it and not Olly’s, but that is another story.

Buried in the Olly Cromwell evidence bundle is the statement which reveals the lies told by Bexleyheath police officers - it is written evidence that what they said to the DPS was not entirely truthful. The DPS may not have known about the statement, it was filed with the wrong case papers.

Bexleyheath police were not really in the Civic Offices to investigate the obscene blog they were discussing how the tables could be turned on the victim, which may partially explain why Chief Executive Will Tuckley wrote to Bexley police suggesting they try prosecuting me for its publication.

So there are a few revisions to the Appeal letter to be made.

History and English Language Department
Cheryl CurrSomeone with a long memory has sort of suggested why Cheryl Curr is off her head.

A newspaper report from 2001 reveals how a camel had the good sense to throw her over its shoulders and bounce her along a road in Cairo.

Maybe the injuries are more permanent than at first thought.

Not that the head teacher has things all his own way in this debate. Some readers are hot under the collar about a school Principal who cannot spell principle. Quite right too!

Street Cleaning Department
Street cleanerBexley Council, on behalf of the blog addicted Peter Craske, is looking for a name for his new street cleaning toy. The Council has thought it worthy of a Press Release.

That Craske should be besotted by something that will spend most of its working life in the gutter is entirely natural but a catchy name will be hard to find. If I suggest one it will be ignored.

So that rules out a reader’s Porno Pete and, from one of BiB’s surprisingly large number of readers with email addresses, Liar McLiarface.

God Save Us from Sadiq Khan Department
The dominant bus theme at Transport User meetings is how passenger numbers are in decline, the reason being that buses are just too damn slow. I have stopped using them for that exact reason.

So in another example of joined up thinking the gormless Mayor has decided that making all main roads 20 m.p.h. zones is a good plan.

When we get autonomous buses capable of driving themselves - with a driver on board I must add before anyone gets too excited - they will not be capable of exceeding speed limits so then we can be sure that bus journeys will be even slower and TfL revenues will fall even more.

Believe me, it will happen.

Useless Head of Waste Department
Steve DidsburyNot another Steve Didsbury three weeks overdue FOI story, but close.

Bexley Council has issued another of its Press Releases and its street bins for plastics are for the chop. The problem is contamination and it is a very real problem. But is the solution to take the bins away?

If I was a bin contaminator seeing no plastics bin I’d just dump my stuff in the paper bin instead. How is withdrawing bins ever a good idea? The Council says the contents of a contaminated bin have to go to landfill, but so will the rubbish strewn around the streets. Who is gaining by Bexley’s move, except perhaps the people who run the service?

Christmas Decorations Department
The Abbey Wood Traders will gather for their monthly meeting in the Abbey Arms this evening and not a drop will be drunk, never has been so why change things just because Christmas approaches?

I will be sworn to secrecy again so if the Councils have anything interesting to say I will try to keep shtum. However I will try to find out who is responsible for Wilton Road’s Christmas lights. I do not remember seeing them in previous years and none of the traders I have spoken to, even the Chairman of their Association, has any idea where they came from.


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